Complicated

Complicated

You know that moment when you see someone for the first time and you feel like you two are going to go a long way?

You don’t quite understand how that person’s vibe is affecting you but you just don’t want it to stop.A rare intuition, but nevertheless a beautiful feeling.

Personally, I have been lucky enough to feel that way, once in my life. But it made me feel so grand, that even once felt adequate.

A girl… who was one of those intellectual poets who loved wearing black and preferred to draw about her feelings than talk about them.

Or an idiot who eats a sugar cube first and then drinks her bitter cup of coffee.

The first time I saw her, she was straightening out her shirt with her hands outside her hotel room, in the hallway. I could tell that she was feeling anxious and confused because of all the conviviality around her and didn’t know how to deal with it. I was in awe of how utterly beautiful she looked that day. So, I decided to take a step forward and introduce myself. When we started talking, I came to know that she lived in an entirely different and far away Indian state. At first, I was ecstatic to know all about her heritage and where she came from. Which then led to more and more and more conversation and ludicrous jokes which were only funny to the both of us. Despite her jokes being complete rubbish at times, I never got tired of them. (girl, if you’re reading this…” Hug de”)

Eventually, we began finding common ground. We shared a similar past, we enjoyed the same kind of music, our sense of humour was completely in sync.… we even chose the exact same delicacies at the hotel buffet!

2 hours into the friendship, and we didn’t know what to do without each other. From unpacking to choosing what clothes to wear to walking to the conference room… we just had to do it all, together.

I think my favourite time with her was when I ran out of my hotel room in my pyjamas, while she was sitting with a couple of people in the aisle. With my turbulent laughter, I practically fell in her lap because I couldn’t wait to tell her about this absolutely revolting yet amusing thing that I had done. That ‘Thing’ I did, is too demented to be mentioned here. But the point is, we laughed in each other’s arms still our stomachs hurt. I had truly never felt so jovial. So understood.

She would awkwardly smirk at me for no reason at all. And when I’d ask her why she’d stare at me like that, she would command me to shut up and continue doing whatever I was doing. I never quite understood that but always found it corny in an adorable way.

Our plethora of inside jokes vexed all our friends. Incessant laughter, witty sarcasm and hilarious one-liners, are what basically constituted 70% of our friendship.

Despite the façade of her laid- back attitude, her emotions had such depth. Even though she was kind of an imbecile sometimes and wouldn’t ever stop with her verbose speeches, she always enveloped a side of her. A side that was immediately recognized by me. A side that craved acknowledgement.

Maybe our mutual comprehension, is what brought us so close to each other. So close, that after a day or two, we’re all each other needed to maintain our equanimity in this banal phase of life.

She is responsible for the most heart-breaking ‘Goodbye’ in my life so far. During our last hug, I felt like my heart was going to explode out of my chest. All I could think about was how much I was going to miss the smiling glances across the conference room and how I’d yell at her for splashing water all around in the hotel bathroom.

I love her, for her gumsy laugh and lack of responsibility. I love her, for every time she got jealous when I spent my coffee breaks with someone else and not her. I love her, for how she’d sing to me. But most importantly, I love her for how she made me feel about myself and this world.

But three and a half days with each other, was all we had. That, and a lifetime of Skype video calls and hysterical Snapchat videos. Perhaps visiting each other, once a year.

 

Certainly not going to be enough.

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