They say that friendship last forever – a simple myth that gives people immense hope despite our awareness of its tragic consequences.
As Homo sapiens, we pride ourselves in the countless visionaries, inventors and extraordinary people our fascinating world has birthed. Yet, we fail to acknowledge everyone’s common weakness- the one that binds us together and tears us apart simultaneously without us ever being able to contemplate the extent of its heart wrenching after effects.
We crave love in the purest form and despite it being a ubiquitous notion, our super egos being more powerful than our minds stop us from admitting it. Sometimes even to ourselves. It’s like everything we do, think, imagine or hope for is a manifestation of our incessant need that this world fails to fulfill in most cases. You see, this world is designed in a specific way that we may not all have understood yet. It has an arcane beauty, one that can enthrall you enough to be blinded by its sheer malevolence.
Looking around, we may often see dim lighted cafes that echo of large vivacious groups and voracious eaters, laughing hysterically like it’s the end of the world or concerts where best friends click selfies while holding each other so tight hoping that the night ever ends for them. But like that night, good times end too and with that so do good friendships. So no matter how many times you wipe your friends’ tears on the bathroom floor after ordering yourselves a large pizza and making sure to remember to order extra olives because you know she loves olives, our human complexity jostles us into ourselves ultimately. We our are longest commitments, not our friends.
I may sound like a cynical misanthrope. A person without any friends at all. Selfish even. But to be fairly candid, aren’t we all a little bit selfish?
We only enjoy friendship until it saturates our need for love. It is like a game of stimulus and response. Without an appropriate stimulus, response secedes. So when our friends act distant or self-absorbed, we introspect for a while until we decide to move on with ourselves, doing everything we can to shield our hearts from the arrows of reality until we can find our haven, again.
Time is ethereal yet it is obvious that it can be much shorter than we want it to be. And its rapid speed can sometimes be overwhelming enough for us to be at constant battle with it. So as we battle time and pretty much everything else, it becomes like our duty to put ourselves and our needs before everything else. Not duty only, it is survival.
Even though losing friends may result in a severe paroxysm, broken dreams, desolation and an urge to save our eloquence for another time, our valiant hearts find a way to pull through our messes in order to save ourselves.
Paradoxically, friends truly are brillant. There is no replacement for how a coffee date on a rainy day can boost your joy or how efficacious one simple message saying “I’m here for you” is. This recurring experience is one of the most cherishable and will undoubtedly produce excessive dopamine in your body. However, instead of learning it the hard way it might be easier to accept that it is ephemeral, despite its actual duration in time.
So as we tackle life as we call it while encountering many bumps and finding people to enjoy them with we must be grateful for knowing people we think we love more than we love ourselves ,exuberating compassion, getting lost with them in the maze that will one day lead us to ourselves.
So true friendship exists.
It can be crazily impactful whether you’re 7 and sharing Hot Wheels cars or 70 and sharing memories.
But it is fleeting.
Friendship does not last forever.
For one reason.
One reason only.
Just so that we do.